Day 69
Epilogue / Chapters 1 and 2
“I said ‘forgive me’ to her because I wanted to punish myself to the end. She did not forgive … I love her for that!”
Plans for escape and extraordinary visions of the future after one last diatribe about “America”—
“This America, devil take it, I hate it already! So Grusha will be with me, but look at her: is she an American woman? She’s Russian, every little bone of her is Russian, she’ll pine for her native land, and I’ll see all the time that she’s pining away for my sake, that she has taken up such a cross for my sake, and what has she done wrong? And I, will I be able to stand the local rabble, though every last one of them may be better than I am? I hate this America even now! … devil take them, they’re not my people, not of my soul! I love Russia, Alexei, I love the Russian God, though I myself am a scoundrel!”
—a visit from Katya, final or not—
“That’s why I loved you, for your magnanimous heart! … And you do not need my forgiveness, nor I yours; it’s all the same whether you forgive or not, all my life you will remain a wound in my soul, and I in yours—that’s how it should be…”
—and one last bitter encounter:
“It was her proud lips speaking, not her heart,” Grushenka said with a sort of loathing. “If she delivers you—I’ll forgive everything…”
It’s a mark of Dostoevsky’s polyphony that in all these contested relationships every possibility voiced or dreamed seems possibly true. This effect is most pronounced in respect to the love relationships and the possible jealousies, in which no fixed answer can be found, expressed so gently here:
Thus they prattled to each other, and their talk was frantic, almost senseless, and perhaps also not even truthful, but at that moment everything was truth, and they both utterly believed what they were saying.
And one more little chapter to go.
Once we finish I’ll follow up with a wrap-up post or two—please stay tuned and continue offering your thoughts along the way and after finishing.
I am still wrapping my head around the inevitable verdict. At first I just muttered "Russians". But, then again, Americans elected Trump (twice). I remembered that a lawyer friend once told me that he was terrified of jury trials because of the unpredictability of the jury. What is Dostoevsky saying about Russia with that verdict? I liked the foreshadowing when we learned about the one juror (wearing a medal) with 12 children with the palatial mind. So many intricacies. I would have liked to read that second novel, never written, and learn more about Kolya and the crew 20 years after. Or see what becomes of Mitya and Grusheka after 20 years in the States. And what a hero Alyosha is. Zosima saw it all coming - knew where Mitya was heading with that bow.